The Main Meyn Blog

I always wonder where people have gone and how they are. And not just acquintances, but people who once in our lives, we sincerely believed we couldn’t live without.

Songs or stories always focus on the those that made it. But how about those that didnt?

I’ve always felt a tad sad that somebody you got close in school, work, or in the sandbox, sometimes seem to have melted away. They could be your bestfriend, your barkada, or your significant other, its the same thing. They were your loved ones and the fact of the matter is, some of them have moved mysteriously on.

There will be reunions or chance meetings, and when you meet, the relationship or connection is still there. Sometimes, even if it an ex, the spark is still there. Over drinks or dinner, you reminiscense with them the past and you laugh your heads off like you’ve never laughed before. And it is really a truly enjoyable night for everybody. But as the time passes and the night turns to twilight, you say goodbye and you give promises to keep in touch

And you again lose touch with your loves, for no reason at all.

I guess what it just tells me is for people to enjoy the time spent with your friends, girlfriends, family, etc, which are your loved ones. You work for the future, you learn from the past, but you have to really live in the PRESENT, sincerely experience it, and enjoy the people who mean to you a lot, right now.

Because if you dont, love, and life, may just suddenly move in a mysterious way.

Together with Rise of S. James, this is one of my fave songs…says so much but still in a positive vibe…which just tells me how we should all face life’s little drama’s - with a smile =)

_________________________________________

Someone I hate, she thinks she’s great
And loves to state the obvious
You’re next to me, entirely, let’s wait and see

Someone like you, selfish it’s true
All you can do
It’s plain to see, entirely, you disagree
No sense of reason [some think that it's true]
Why did you have to believe them
No sense of reason [what do I have to do]
There’s no-one else [you're deceiving]

Sometimes it’s true, forgiving you is hard to do
It’s crystal clear [could end in tears]
And not something I can feel sure of
No sense of reason [some think it's true]
Why did you have to believe them
No sense of reason, [what do I have to do]
There’s no one else [you're deceiving]

No sense of reason [some think it's true]
Why did you have to believe them
No sense of reason [what do I have to do]
There’s no one else [you're deceiving]

You’re next to me, entirely,
It’s plain to see
You’re next to me, entirely,
let’s wait and see

No sense of reason [some think it's true]
why did you have to believe them
No sense of reason [what do I have to do]
there’s no one else [you're deceiving]

No sense of reason
[some think it's true]
Why did you have to believe them
No sense of reason
[what do I have to do]
There’s no one else [you're deceiving]

No sense of reason
[some think it's true]
Why did you have to believe them
No sense of reason
[what do I have to do]
There’s no one else [you're deceiving]

In 2 weeks, there will be a rush.

A rush for flowers. A rush for dinner reservations. For gifts and chocolates. It’s just so funny to me how some people can equate this day to love. Don’t people realize that its just a heavy marketing ploy that has grown out of proportion? Don’t you realize that even if somebody prepares the most elaborate plan, the most sumptuous of dinners, the shiniest of gifts, it still doesnt mean that he or she really really loves you?

Some friends may raise their eyebrows knowing that there could be rantings of somebody like me who doesnt have an SO(significant other) at this point in time(ok ok, the past 2 years). Better yet, I’ll even add to that argument. In Manila, I usually did have the valentine date situation every year before I left for the US so yes, I do my own rushing for valentines too.

But it doesn’t mean that I’m not right? For me, showing a person that you love them should not be rushed because of a date like valentines. Nay, it should be far from it. Love should be shown to your partner even before valentines, and Feb14 should just be a gentle reminder of the love, of the relationship. Gifts should be given on other days when one needs it, romantic and passionate nights should happen when its just you and your mate alone and not when there’s so many people around you.

I am not anti-valentines, dont get me wrong. Valentines is a wonderful thing. But the danger is some people already equate valentines to love. That would be utterly terribly wrong. Valentines is just a day chosen by Hallmark, by MTV and what have you, to use your money to buy expensive gifts, flowers and dinner.

It’s ok to do all that though. Just don’t lose the real meaning of the day. Valentines should never ever be about Feb14. Rather, it should be about the other 364 days that isn’t marketed as “V” day.

Because if that doesnt happen, and our lives are determined by how society defines holidays and the such, does that mean that when its Mother’s or Father’s day, that we all have to make that we are all parents already, or at least our SO’s are all pregnant?

Happy Hearts Day!

It is so easy to give up when everything is going against you.

It’s so easy to quit and say, “I lost”.

It’s also to be expected that people, especially your friends, will tell you, “Don’t, everything will get better”.

But where do you draw the line? And isn’t each line different for every person? If so, how can they actually advise you when their experiences are different, their reasons are no your reasons?

In essence, each and every person has their own answer to this question.

As for me, I’ve decided to give up.

I’m giving up on people who don’t do anything but bash and rant. I’m giving up on supposed friends who only talk to you so they can talk about themselves. I’m giving up on all the drama. And I’m moving on.

Sometimes, helping other people is a tad tiring. You give so much advise and empathy, but when you are the one down, they can’t even make an effort to really listen, much more help you. Sometimes, you give so much to a friendship, but its all forgotten for naught once your friends have found their happiness, be it love, career or whatever. Where’s the logic in that?

When you think about it, people need other people as a support group, as a cane against life’s rugged terrain. It should be noted though, that one will reach the destination, not by the cane, but by one’s own two feet.

I’m giving up right now. I’m throwing away my cane to the wayside, I’m going to stand up tall and walk the walk and talk the talk. I will run this race battered, slapped, injured, with dozens of wounds and scrapes on my knees and hands. But I will finish.

Giving up never felt this good.

My fave song for the past few months…enjoy…

_________________________________________

You should believe me
And everything I choose to do
You should believe that I’ll
Always come back to you

Life is discovering
The love that we create
Life is a mystery
We need to embrace

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

(Chorus)
People rise together
When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever
This life keeps movin’
(Repeat 2x)

Open your mind and see
We have everything we need
Dream or reality
Fulfill its destiny

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

(Chorus)
People rise together
When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever
This life keeps movin’
(Repeat 2x)

You need to let go…
You need to let go…

(With instrumentals)
People rise
When they believe
Change the day
This life keeps movin’

(Chorus)
People rise together
When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever
This life keeps movin’

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah…

As this day ends, a moment of thought goes out to my old friends.

I imagine the gift wrappers strewn all over the floor. I imagine all the beer and scotch consumed, all the lechon eaten, all the smiles and the laughter shared. And I am soooo sooo jealous, and it’s not the first time. And I realize a lot of things that I used to take for granted:

Where I always had a lot of friends to go out with at any given time and on any given day.

Where I could always count on someone(you know who you were) to go out and have a nice dinner and even better conversation.

Where I would always be myself and make people adjust to me, instead of the other way around.

Where I could go to work at 11AM and nobody would care(except those that needed my signature on something).

Where I could drink and drive beyond 2AM, and still eat at Northpark before going home.

Oh those were such fun times. And I would like to take a moment to remember them all.

Instances like these are satisfying, since it makes one know what he or she is capable of doing, and the endless possibilities that can happen.

It is these specific moments that naturally become objectives of the future. For it is only when one remembers and learns from the past can he really move forward. Otherwise, we might be forced by life to repeat the mistakes we did before.

I should know. I’ve forgotten at times and repeated old problems and issues.

Old friends, old life, old mistakes.

It’s a good thing everything in this moment is new.

Merry CHRISTmas and all the best to the next 12 months of 2007!

As a child, I always loved mazes. I remember going to this country club when i was 4-5 years old, and the feeling I felt entering a maze - the challenge for looking for the way out, the pounding of my heart gettig stronger every minute I was lost, my mind at its most calculating. seeking for the right turn and twist, and the exhilaration when I reach the end, with my mom or dad waiting with their arms open wide, and smiling and clapping for me.

The next “maze” I remember was Big Bang sa Alabang during gradeschool, where me and my friends would go to while still being in our zobel uniforms. That was instead a shared experience and I can remember laughing our heads off as we make a wrong turn, or running while trying to leave someone lost behind.

Those were fun times and the beauty of it was I never did lose my way. By the time I needed to leave, I found my path home, be it following the breadcrumbs on the floor or the squeeky voices of my classmates, or in this case, the laughter of friends I knew.

Of recent though, the maze has gotten so much larger and more confusing. And the stakes seem to have increased thousand-fold. Now if I make a wrong turn, sometimes it means love, other times it means career, or most of the time, it just means life. And while inside this confusing road of dead ends and repetitive corners, a lot of people have lost their way. Some have lost their mind and quit. Others have used other people just to find their way out. More have just gone around in circles, seeing their future in their past, a groundhog day if you must.

Presently, Im in the most confusing maze of my life. I used to be the scount ranger, the point man, the pied piper to a lot of people. But in the last year of my unfocused life, I have lost the mojo, I don’t have the drive, or simply put, I have lost my way.

I am now starting to doubt myself if I will ever find the checkered flag at this race. My gas tank runs almost empty, and the engine is close to overheating.

What would I give for a gas station, my personal gas attendant and a map to get out.

Sad, but mazes seem to have lost their appeal to me of recent.

My dear Connie always said, she’s looking for “her” hero. I say no need.

Coz for me, in this life, we all need to be our own heroes.

By this I mean that in whatever we do, we have to do it our own way and thru our own efforts. Help may come along the way, but we are still the primary movers if we want to win in this game called life.

Somebody once pointed out that everything he learned, he learned in kindergarten. When you think about it, what we read in kindergarten are all about fairy tales. And in these fairy tales, the hero, always starts off as alone, and goes against the wild forest, the ferocious animals, the confusing mazes, the ugly witches. Some may be strong but bumbling people. Others are clever but physically weak individuals. Each has his or her own path, her own fights. his own battles. And of course the corresponding victories at the end.

Nobody else fights their wars for them. No one hero has a bodyguard who did all of the skirmishes. Not one has a gf or bf that was there weilding the sword with them on the battlefield. Nay, each won it on fighting on their own two feet.

Life is a journey that we all have to take by ourselves.

That’s why at times, it’s a tad lonely. Sometimes even, it seems that we’ve scraped the bottom of the barrel and we cant go any lower. All we can do is wait and prepare. And hold on to the belief that when one finishes any kindergarten’s fairy tale, it is always the hero that wins out in the end.

Then, and only then, will we live, happily ever after.

This is for all the friends who think they can abuse their friends’ trust and generosity, and expecting that the friend will just let it slide because of the friendship.

This is for all the girls who believe that the world owes them something.

This is for all the guys who make girls fall head over heels for them, then cheat.

This is for anybody who doesnt appreciate the effort of friends and their famiies, and instead listen to their desires and preconceived opinions.

This is for everybody who knows there is something wrong, but just sweeps it under the rug and hopes that the toothfairy will swallow all the dirt.

This is for me. This is for you. This is for all of us.

“Relationships, be it as friends or lovers, is all about a commitment. A commitment of trust and support. And like any commitment, its has to be won, and rewon, a thousand times, everyday. For once it is lost, it is just so so hard to regain. Usually, it is said that time will heal the crack, but one can never be sure how long that can take per person”

For example, of recent, I have commited a grave mistake. I havent kept my part of a very important relationship, and my life has gone awry. Simply put, I lost my commitment.

I have to start retracing my steps, and earn the trust of somebody very dear to me. It’s going to be really hard, and sometimes taxing. I am going to have to court, and give flowers, and give my time and effort and heart.

At the end of the day, I’m going to try to get back my fire and my passion.

For my One, and Only, God.

…let’s rock and roll…

"I believe in the sun, even if sometimes it doesn’t shine

I believe in hope, even if sometimes it seems its gone

I believe in love, even if sometimes it isn’t felt

I believe in God, even if sometimes He doesn’t seem to be there."

      - written in blood on a wall during the holocaust, Author unknown

There maybe more or less to this quote, as I am just writing this down from memory and I have taken some liberties.  But whatever the case maybe, it doesn’t change the fact that there will come a time when we will all be down - wasted, bruised, beaten black and blue and on the verge of that light at the end of the tunnel.

Life is like that sometimes.  It cuts you up and makes you feel like the lowest of the low.  But it shouldn’t mean you should give in to the world and its unrelenting attacks.

Instead, believe.  Believe that the world will get better.  That you will get that dream job, and you will marry that dream girl, and you will buy that dream house and that you will be saved from eternal damnation.

For in this world of irony and strife, when we are stripped naked, and left hanging on a rocky cliff, our rope can only be hope and God and love and light.

If we lose that, we will continue to keep on falling to our bitter end.

And if that happens, that will be the greatest tragedy of all.

So know that even if you are having one of the worst times in your life, that this too shall pass and you will come back, better and stronger than ever before.

Believe me or not.